Here's a list of actual headlines from various newspapers....... 1. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers 2. Milk drinkers are turning to powder 3. Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted 4. Quarter of a million Chinese live on water 5. Farmer Bill dies in House 6. Iraqi head seeks arms 7. Queen Mary having bottom scraped 8. Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over 9. NJ judge to rule on nude beach 10. Child's stool great for use in garden 11. Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors 12. Soviet virgin lands short of goal again 13. Organ festival ends in smashing climax 14. Eye drops off shelf 15. Squad helps dog bite victim 16. Dealers will hear car talk at noon 17. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax 18. Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests 19. Miners refuse to work after death 20. Two Soviet ships collide - one dies 21. Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter 22. Never withhold herpes from loved one 23. Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy 24. Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984 25. Autos killing 110 a day - let's resolve to do better 26. If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while 27. War dims hope for peace 28. Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency 29. Cold wave linked to temperatures 30. Child's death ruins couple's holiday 31. Blind woman gets new kidney from daughter she hasn't seen in years 32. Man is fatally slain 33. Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say 34. Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation