Bill Gates Goes to Hell

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by Saint Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or to Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?" Saint Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help you make your decision."

"Fine." said Bill, "But where should I go first?" "I'll leave that up to you." Said the Saint. "Okay then, let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature was only 4 degrees hotter than perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told Saint Peter. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!" "Fine." said Saint Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with Angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as nticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."

So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two millenia later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being ortured by demons. "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily clad women playing in the water?????"

"That was the demo," replied Saint Peter.